Dear Diary
by The Eldritch Dreamer
Summary: When you join Chaldea you are given a standard issue journal which, if you choose, you can write whatever you want into it. This is a collection of journal entries from the residents of Chaldea about their lives and about a Master that something is deeply wrong with.
1. Entry 1: Mash Kyrielight

Entry 1: Mash Kyrielight

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Dear Diary,

Today Senpai and I had lunch together. Emiya is quite a good chef. I've never had anything from him that I didn't like. He made a pizza today, which was honestly impressive to me. He even made the dough and the sauce entirely from scratch! I should really ask him how he does it sometime, when he isn't busy of course.

While the event is not unique, I have lunch with Senpai and enjoy Emiya's cooking practically every day, that's not the point. It just feels nice to be close to someone who cares about you. These small daily interactions are something which I treasure. They may not be the most important or defining moments in our relationship, but they're what give me the feeling that everything is real. Without these small hellos or eating together or even just waving as we pass each other by I'm sure I'd start to feel different about everything. And so I really appreciate everything I get the chance to do with Senpai.

But…

This is really all just speculation; Senpai hasn't told me anything concrete, but I feel like something is off about them. Sometimes it feels like they're zoning out for some reason, just completely out of nowhere. Other times it feels like they're trying to hide something. Not menacingly, but like they're trying to keep some secret.

And then of course, there's what happened the other night…

I was walking past Senpai's room, and I heard crying. It was very faint, but it was absolutely unmistakable. So I knocked on the door to ask them if everything was ok. They did call back and say that everything was fine, but I really didn't think it was. I didn't want to fight them on that though, so I just simply returned to my room. The walk back felt a lot longer than normal.

I just, feel like something is wrong. And I really wish that Senpai would tell me what it is. I really want to help them! I promise that I do! They've done so much for me, no, the entire world! And yet it feels like they're the one who's suffering. I wonder just how long this has been going on. On second thought, I really don't want to think about that. The idea of Senpai being hurt, it just disturbs me.

I feel powerless.

But regardless of that, I'm going to support Senpai every way that I can. They've done so much for all of us here at Chaldea. If anyone on this Earth deserves to be happy, it has to be Senpai. So I'm not going to force the issue, since it could end up hurting them more. But I'm going to be there for Senpai even more than ever before. Hopefully they'll talk about it with me someday, but until then I'm going to continue to give it my all supporting them.

From,

Mash

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Dear Diary is a story told as a collection of diary entries by the residents of Chaldea about their lives as well as their Master. I obviously do not own Fate, but I do own the idea for this story, as I came up with it. Hopefully you enjoy it. Don't expect the chapters to be too long, since they're just diary entries. Regardless though, I hope that you find some enjoyment from this.


	2. Entry 2: Jack the Ripper

Entry 2: Jack the Ripper

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Dear Diary,

At first we didn't know what to think of this place. It was kind of scary, and we didn't know if anybody here could be trusted. Trusting people has generally ended badly for us. But now we know that it's ok to let our guard down a little. This place has been so welcoming to us, and so has mommy. We've even made friends! Us of all people! We know, it's so hard to believe but it's the truth! Visiting Alice and Lily each day makes us so happy. Though the tea parties can be a bit of a drag sometimes. Alice always has to be so prim and proper about everything. I guess it just shows how much she cares about the tea parties and all, but she may put just a bit too much effort into it.

But… Well… How do we put this… Something seems off with mommy. It's like, how do we put this… We're starting to see a bit of ourselves in her. That's scary. All the things we've been through, we'd never wish anything like that on mommy! Just thinking about it makes us want to cry! But what can we do? Mommy found us all alone and took us in. They gave us a place to stay, a bunch of friends, and our happiness too!

It's not fair! It's not fair it's not fair IT'S NOT FAIR!

WHY DOES MOMMY HAVE TO SUFFER FROM SOMETHING WE DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND?! WHAT'S DOING IT?! WE'LL KILL IT!

…

We were grounded for going on a rampage. Or well we were going to be. Mommy asked us why we started to break things, and we told them that we just wanted to kill what was making them sad. Mommy kind of stopped for a second after they heard that. Like, they weren't sure what to say. Did mommy really think I wouldn't want to kill what was hurting them? They told us to go back to our room and think about what we did.

But they also said "thank you".

Sometimes we don't understand everything. It's a bit difficult to read people and situations for us. It's probably because of how we were born. But since mommy smiled at us when they said that, we think that we made them happy, even if it was just a little bit. Punishment or not, if that's really the case then it was worth it.

Love,

Jack

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Dear diary is a story told as a collection of diary entries by the residents of Chaldea about their lives as well as their Master. I obviously do not own Fate, but I do own the idea for this story, as I came up with it. Hopefully you enjoy it. Jack has always been one of my personal favorites. At the time of writing this, I have her at level 100 and her skills are nearly all maxed in my main Japanese fgo account. She's always been a Servant I've loved, and I hope that some of that helped out this chapter. I hope that you enjoyed it.


	3. Entry 3: Okita Souji

Entry 3: Okita Souji

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Dear diary,

At first I wasn't sure if I'd fit in here in Chaldea. Most of the other Servants here are all glorious heroes who fought honorable battles and died for something they believed in or retired happy and fulfilled. Comparing them to me is kind of painful really. I never really got to do any of that. It's true that in life I was an extremely gifted swordswoman. That much is a solid fact. But I never truly had the chance to use those skills for anything that I believed in.

I died.

Watching all my comrades fight for me.

Unable to do anything.

I watched.

As I laid in my death bed.

I am no hero.

At least, that was what I thought. But after joining everyone here I began to change my mind. Little by little I learned that all these great legendary heroes were people too, just like me. Slowly but surely, I got close to them and earned their respect. Some of them I would even consider my friends. Hijikata-san even ended up joining us too! My life here started out as another tragedy. Just hide the pain Okita. Don't let anyone see you cry Okita. You can't let them know how much you hurt inside Okita. But now I don't even need to worry about those things! I genuinely feel, well, happy now. And it's all thanks to all the people that I've met here.

…

And that's why I know what's wrong with our Master.

It's knowledge I would rather not have, and it feels wrong that I'm able to tell so easily. But it's simple to identify when you used to surfer the same condition. Our Master also thinks that they're worthless. I'm sure that anyone else who realizes that wants to help them as well. Don't get me wrong, I do too. But I feel like if I just go and confront the problem directly it might just make it worse. I don't want them to think that the sickest girl on the face of the world is just pitying them. That would have the opposite effect. Do I think they'd react that way? No, absolutely not. But they're important enough that I don't even want to risk trying that if it could backfire.

I guess I still have a ways to go. I'm still unable to protect the people who I care about the most. But I do think that I've gotten better. I think that I can genuinely say that I love myself and enjoy my life now. That alone says a lot about how far I've come. So while I can't really any single thing to safe Master now I can double my efforts and support them any way that I can! I'll let them know that they're not alone through my actions and my presence! It's time to give back to the Master who gave me everything! It'll be Okita's greatest victory!

Hopefully,

Okita Souji

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Dear Diary is a story told as a collection of diary entries by the residents of Chaldea about their lives as well as their Master. I obviously do not own Fate, but I do own the idea for this story, as I came up with it. Hopefully you enjoy it. Since I posted the last chapter the main thing keeping me from updating was my uncertainty of who to pick next, as well as being unsure if I would be able to portray them accurately. But I decided that there was enough demand for more of this that I needed to post something. And so I went with a character extremely close to my heart. Hopefully you all enjoy the amount of effort I put into this chapter. I made it all for you.


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